The Ugly Truth…

Okay, so i’ve just watched The Ugly Truth, great film Btw! Some parts defo do hit home. It does seem that some women (and men) today ARE obsessed with finding Mr or Mrs Right and that he /she does measure up to the ‘dreamboat’ that they have created in their heads. He/she must be attractive, ambitious, caring, fun, etc. Whilst i have nothing against a ‘list of qualities’ as such, do these women ever get all of their boxes ticked? Can a person really have it ALL?? Women grow up with their eyes fixed to Movies with the happy, romantic ending, and their heads in romantic novels and Mr Darcy’s. It’s always the man that saves the girl.

Do these slushy romances brainwash us? Why aren’t we learning to be independent first, even Anne Boleyn was taught how to joke, eat, walk and talk like a lady, but was this for herself? Or for the men? :s

Women wanting a hunky Knight in shining armour that can protect her, romance and satisfy her.

The same applies to men, some wanting a glamorous, beautiful woman (like the airbrushed celebs on TV) that can be a Chef in the kitchen and a pornstar in the bedroom. Do they ever find her?

It’s not a bad thing for people to be fussy, not settle for anything less and wait/ believe in the ‘right one’. With internet dating, friend hook-ups, the forwardness of ppl in Clubs/Bars/practically anywhere today, we have so many options that we think that special person will come along any day now. With people in love telling you that when you finally meet ‘the one’ you will just know. How will we know?!

I have never felt in any of my relationships that i couldn’t go a day living without them, not cuz i didn’t love them but the fact that i’m a strong person and even if i loved someone with all my heart, i’m realistic to things failing/ending, so have built up a protective barrier incase this happens to be optimistic and know that sometimes you can’t always be in control of everything.

What if there is no ‘the one’? The World is a massive place, surely we can click with many people that share the same interests, that we’re attracted to. Maybe we’re wasting our time sitting here waiting for Mr or Mrs Invisible? Does the idea of Romance like the movies being unrealistic scare us? Why can’t we handle the fact that ‘the one’ could basically be somebody that you meet, like, learn to accept their good AND bad qualities (cuz we all have them) and fall in love when you know them properly.

I, for one, do not believe in love at first sight crap. Lust, yes. How can you love somebody that you barely know? Some people are married for thirty years and still don’t properly know their other half, so i’d like somebody to prove me wrong on this.

We’re shown blissful happy couples all over the TV, magazines etc and know of some content couples personally. However, we don’t know what happens behind closed doors. Nobody will Facebook status how their relationship is going downhill, what they cannot stand about their partner or the flaws they have or arguments that take place. Some people put on a front to the World and sometimes to themselves.

Can we not accept that it’s ok to be truthful? Relationships AREN’T perfect. It has it’s ups and downs, it’s bickering, it’s dry spells, the smiles and the tears. And living with somebody can be the best, yet worst experience in the World. Two different personalities, two people brought up differently, some set in their ways sharing one place, with one person. Their annoying, bad habits come to light, sometimes their messiness, the fact that they don’t wake up looking ‘perfect’, and many other things you never knew, you will find out.

At a certain age, everybody wants stability and safety and someone to share their lives with. However, throw away the checklist, the ‘ideal person’ you have visions of and accept that a relationship can happen at any place, at any time and usually when you least expect it. Don’t shoot somebody down because they didn’t fit the criteria, give them a chance.

And don’t end a relationship because you feel the ‘grass is greener’ elsewhere and that ‘HER boyfriend treats her like a Queen’, you don’t REALLY know that. Relationships that are good take hard work, patience, compromise, adapting and accepting a person for who they are and good communication.

I asked some of my girlfriends what made the man they were married to, or had several children with ‘the one’. They replied that they didn’t know if there was any such thing. That they loved them and spending their lives with them was a risk that they were taking. They do say ‘no risk, no gain.’ :s

And my mother spent thirty odd years with my dad, who was the perfect gentleman at the start, who remained as her Mr Perfect for five of those years, then changed. So, even if we do think we have that person, they too, can change.

There might not be a Mr or Mrs Right, and when you settle down it might not be how you dreamt/envisaged or be romantic like the movies and books… But somebody out there deserves a chance, just like you do…..

If anybody believes in Mr or Mrs Right and that they have found him or her, please share your comments, as i would DESPERATELY like to know! And not some rose-tinted, exaggerated *puke in bucket* romance but the TRUTH, warts and all please….. (: Thanking you nicely.

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